Lieutenant Dan VS Optimus Prime

I thought marketing couldn't get any more ridiculous, but then I heard the Lieutenant Dan voice-overs for the Army's latest recruitment video. I thought to myself, well, who better than the character for a suicidal alcoholic with no legs to help harness the power of the Army for their latest TV spot? I guess aspirations are all relative, but from where I'm sitting that commercial doesn't quite do it for me. Maybe the Army will get their recruits some of those "magic" metal legs too!

BUT THEN -- I didn't think it could get any sillier. I heard the Optimus Prime voice-over for the Navy. At first I thought, is this real? Am I really hearing? But lo and behold, the transforming Auto-bot (or at least his vocal humanoid counterpart) is certainly the voice responsible.

So is this what it's come down to? Who's got the bigger, more badass voice-over? I think if that's the case, Optimus Prime wins by a long shot, but don't you think that's fucking overkill? I mean, REALLY -- Optimus Prime!? HE'S NOT EVEN FROM THIS PLANET! Does the Navy think they're gonna get their hands on the All Spark? And if you really want to get down to brass tacks, I could have sworn Prime was helping out the Army in the movie? I don't remember OP being such a sellout, and I refuse to believe that's the case. So, damn you Navy, damn you for trying to corrupt my childhood memories!

I must say, I find it somewhat repulsive that many famous actors/actresses have taken the role of corporate cheerleader, but I guess that's to be expected. However, this new trend of military advertising is worrisome, especially when childhood heroes are now pandering to a pandemic that infects the mind of the overly patriotic.

KGB subversion propagandists are so jealous right now.